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Kali moved back to where she came from and I began to hear the readings with a new light. There were even meetings were “they tied people up against their will” they said in Spanish as she translated. In the workshop at the very end a young spanish speaking woman told how she had a friend who had recently killed himself because of this 13 stepping. I had an earlier version of my pamphlet and we gave them out. I attended Smart Recovery and SOS meetings and I loved them. I have learned so much about the judicial system, DUI’s, Court ordering, what are my rights, your rights, how bad the sexual predation is, how bad the controlling sponsor thing is, how ridiculous the free promotion by stars in Hollywood is, how AA is dishonestly depicted in TV and movies…

I had many sponsee’s calling me, wanting my attention and I called them all and said I was done sponsoring anyone from now on. And I just took the position of GSR (General Service Rep) for my Home Group. Her sponsor said to her, “what’s your part in it” ? I began attending the mixed meetings I no longer attended. She was 5 years old when he, an AA member, who was dating her mom, took her innocence from her in the most horrific way. Holy cow…how they responded was like they were trying to cover up something and they wouldn’t give us the time of day.

I gave my time, my home, my experience, my soul and friendship and I just wanted to move on. But when I attended the meetings with her at The Marina Center in Culver City, California and The VRC Friday night Meeting at 414 Lincoln, in Venice, CA., I was horrified what I saw. It appeared that there were men there that were not even alcoholics, trying to get sober hanging out. I called an old friend Tom, who was a board member in NA for many years and he told me stories about Bill W taking LSD, how Tom Powers called him a sex addict back then and this sent me searching on the web to then find read Orange Papers and attended more horrible meetings that I did not know existed in Los Angeles, CA. We fought for it and the more we did the more they iced us out.

It began to feel like giant, mammoth problem, too big for Kali and I and a few others who really cared. Women and men victims alike wrote me harrowing tails of abuse, assault, rape, scamming and controlling mentally ill sponsors type abuse. I created a radio show because no one in the media who I reached out to would tell this story of horrible cover up going on in Alcoholics Anonymous. In closing…I left AA after 36 years because I could not tolerate the lies that were read over and over again with no thought or willingness to change or improve an archaic addiction modality, the turning of the blind eye to the Sexual and Financial Predators, and the lack of accountability with all of the above, from the local groups to The New York Alcoholics Anonymous World Headquarters.

As the months rolled by, I got a gig singing in a hotel that made me very happy. Now, I spend my nights with my family, new normal friends, going to movies, listening to live music at clubs, writing, blogging, cooking, being an activist for victims in AA and watching my favorite TV Crime Shows or Documentaries!

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